2011 seems to be in a hurry to get by. Where did the time go?
I spent part of the last four days doing some introspection thinking. Who am I? What do I want? What do I need? What are my strengths and weaknesses? It’s a good exercise, but not necessarily one that is encouraging. The more I think, the more inadequate I feel in some areas. Yet at the same time, I know I can be proud of some of the things I have accomplished thus far in life. It was after four days that I can really be frank with myself, and even so, putting it down it writing is difficult.
Sometimes. I wonder why I want to put myself through all these. Is the time and financial investment worth it? Not to mention the energy and effort spent into putting it all together. I don’t know if what I intend to do will lead me to where I hope to be, but that’s the thing about the future isn’t it? the fact that you’ll never know what will happen. All I can do is to believe that things will work out and walk down the path you’ve chosen.
I’m not exactly getting the support I need from someone I look up to a lot and I don’t know why. Is it your insecurities? Or is there more to it? Sometimes, I feel like I’m losing a confidante. Some of our recent conversations have ended with an agreement to disagree. Is it my changing perspective? my idealism as you always put it? I don’t know and I’m starting to get worried by how things have seemingly changed. I don’t exactly crave words of affirmation, but I would like some encouragement and positivity – not just a ‘do what you need to do’ or you behaving like a wet blanket. Don’t you trust me enough to know that I will at least try to hold my own ground?
